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So what do you do for a living?

I've come to loath the question. At parties or in the pub it heralds the start of a 30-minute conversation with friends of friends as they latch onto this interesting nugget, this cruton in the otherwise bland conversational soup. For them this is a welcome change from the interminable "oh yaw, I work in AYE-TEE".  Unfortunately its a conversation I've had a hundred times before. I know exactly how it will go and exactly the bon-mots I will use to deconstruct their prejudices, the misconceptions they will have and the sorts of things they will want to hear about as they avoid talking to the advertising executive to their left.
Sometimes I tell them I'm a dentist just to not have to go through it all one more time.

But other times I don't, othertimes their demeanour tells me that they will be appalled at the idea of doing what I do for a living. The reality is that I organise, play, referee, promote, consult, write about, eat, sleep and drink poker. Most people just want to hear about the play aspect and some are astonished and horrified in equal part. Sometimes, with those people, I avoid the topic. Other times, particularly with people I care little about I tell them the truth. I like to get right in their small conservative faces about it.

I sat with my bank manager and his boss recently. I was in to talk to them about my bank loan from when I was in business. As far as they know I'm a website entrepreneur. I got the usual bollocking for missed payments etc and then a vague threat about the Irish Credit Bureau.

Well I don't react too well to threats. I'd just recovered from a broken leg and having my company go spang. And I was trying hard to make ends meet to even pay them anything back at all, let alone missing a single payment! So I told them what I really did for a living. I told them that most weeks I staked a sizeable chunk of the loan amount I owed them through the night in quasi-legal poker games in those "clubs" they had heard of. That I hadn't seen AM for quite some time. That I have no car, no house, no wife and precious little keeping me in this country. That I travelled the world to attend the biggest games I could find (technically true, I didn't mention that I reported on them rather then played in them!) and that there was precious little they could take from me that I hadn't already sold for a buy-in (technically not true, I've never really owned anything of value in the first place!)

In the most wonderful Fight Club moment, and with my bank manager increasingly looking like he had invited a recently released paedo to be Bobo the Clown at his kid's birthday party, I explained that my office job and I had parted company on the grounds that it had become a case of it or poker, that since there was very little keeping me in the country I might soon relocate to somewhere else.... somewhere unspecific. I couldn't really make up my mind about my future and but that was ok since frankly I was living from day to day anyway.

Tyler's words coming out of my mouth.

I have never been a strong reader of people but it wasnt hard to read their appalled vista's. The horrified, open mouth of my bank manager said "oh my god... *this* is who we lent our money to!". His boss, who hadnt said a word to this point, stepped in and the entire tone of the conversation changed. Banks are funny like that, they make it YOUR problem that you owe them money. If you think about it clearly enough, its really THEIR problem! I left 5 minutes later with a repayment scheme that basically read "what I can, when I feel like it". Sometimes, just sometimes, prejudices are fun to screw with....

Donkeys, a Tower and some Blackpool Rock

After a last minute change of plan I find myself heading over to Blackpool with the Pokerevents Irish Poker Team to cover/maybe play the Grosvenor Casino Bonanza Main event whilst Tom runs the Green Joker €250 Freeze out in Drogheda.

I meet up with the team at the airport; everyone is buzzing with confidence and looking to bring a huge amount of sterling back to the Emerald Isle. Along for the ride are Dave O’Callaghan, Eoghan ‘Value’ O’Dea, Dave Masters, Thomas ‘Bomber’ Nolan, Leslie McLean, Paul Corrigan, Fintan Gavin and Simon Kelly from A World of Poker who is also covering the event. Simon lets me know that the Casino does not have a wireless connection so covering the tournament without a mobile card is going to be a problem so I ended up playing.

The Casino in Blackpool is an excellent place for a poker tournament. A spacious card room can accommodate up to 180 players on good large tables. Plasma TV’s all around the walls display all the vital information. The system they use automatically does the draw and displays the seat assignments on the screen, levels up announcements and breaks are announced automatically by the software too. Pre tournament I spot some more Irish contenders. Mick McCloskey, Ivan Donaghy, Paul Leckey, Jim Reid and Bill White have all made the trip and confidence is even higher for a good result for Ireland.

When I arrive at table 10 I find that I only know two players at the table, one is Thomas Nolan and the other is the fast talking Paul Parker from Brighton. With a 10,000 starting stack and a one hour clock there is plenty of time to settle into the game, or as I like to look at it, plenty of cheap pots to mix it up in and gather chips. Things went to plan for the first couple of levels; I made it up to 16000 without going to the river in any of the bigger pots. I did have my chips in the middle with AA on a low flop but my young English opponent had only called my pre flop re-raise and bet on the flop because he thought I was at it. Thomas was building nicely also but unfortunately the rest of the Irish were not having such a good time. Dave O’Callaghan played one round of the table before making a great call against Carlo Citrone for all his chips with KK, Carlo had a pair and straight draw but tripped up on the river to send Dave to the rail.

I was feeling confident I could build up a good stack at the table when I ran into a little trouble. First I found top pair weak kicker from the small blind and tripped up on the turn after check raising the flop against Paul Parker who was in late position. Luckily my show of strength slowed him down and I lost the minimum against his better kicker. Soon after a short-ish stack moves to our table and moves in from early position. I have AA and raise to isolate, it works and we see five cards. He has Ace King with the Ace of spades. Four spades on the board and he takes his jacket back off and I am down to 8000.

Tables are breaking fast and soon we are down to less than 90 players and my table is broken. My new table sees me sat in between London poker open champion Iwan Jones and Trevor Reardon, both well respected players. Tom 'Red Dog' McReady has the button on my big blind, a Jack Daniels fuelled Rob Yong is next him and also at the Table are Steve Jelinek and The Nun from Blondepoker. I manage to keep my stack constant for what seems like an eternity. The structure was so good that at most points I was less than half the average stack but did not drop below ten big blinds until late in the day when the blinds hit 500/1000.

An inebriated Rob Yong made the table very entertaining but also dangerous. The first hand he sat down at the table there was a three way All In when he challenged Des Jonas to move in blind and he would call blind. A short stack in between them saw some value and came along for the ride. The hands? 9 3, 7 8 and 8 2, Des winning with 9 3!

Finally it was getting to the point that I was going to double up or go home. I was in the big blind with 5k left after putting out the 1k blind. All folded to Rob Yong who took time out from his Jack to raise to 3k. I look down and see the tips of two lovely black Aces, shove all my chips in and double up against his 56 off. I steal my way up to just over 20k when Tony ‘Tikay’ Kendall arrives at the table with a similar chipstack. Also in the place of Rob Yong was Norwegian Henning Gradstad, a good friend but formidable poker player. David ‘Doubleup’ McGeachie from Scotland had replaced Tom ‘Red Dog’ McCready two to my left and I was still sandwiched between Trev and Iwan. I had now been at the table for 5 hours and the only hands I had shown were AK, QQ, AQ and of course the Aces. My image was of granite rock and this had helped me build up to a third of the average stack but still having more than ten big blinds. Blinds were now 800/1600 and I look down at my second AK of the day. The standard raise on the table had settled down at 4200 for this left so that was what I raised. It was Henning’s big blind and I had shown AK last time I raised it, he had a monster stack and I was looking for him to disbelieve this time. Before the action got around to him, Tony Kendall had re-raised All In from the small blind. Tony has me covered by about 1k so I am facing a decision for all my chips. Usually with less than a third of the average it is an auto call with AK but I would still have 10 big blinds left if I folded. Tony’s range here I reckon is TT-AA with a small possibility of AK/AQ. After some deliberation I decide that he would more likely want action with AA/KK and therefore would not have moved all in. With my read being at worst a race I decide that it was time to make a stand. He turns over TT and I need to hit to survive. The bells of doom were chiming when a ten arrived on the flop but hope was there with two diamonds to match my suited AK. The turn was a black queen giving me more outs and the river was the most beautiful jack I have ever seen in my life to put a cruel beat on one the nicest guys in poker.

I finished the day with 41k which was below average of the 28 remaining players but with the clock being reset for the current 800/1600 level there was plenty of play left for me to challenge the leaders.

Preparation for the second day involved playing killer pool ‘Galway’ style in our hotel. Fintan ‘You can beat them, they are only muppets’ Gavin being the TD and the players including Ivan, Paul, Dave O’Callaghan et al. I threw the game in mid position and ventured off for some sleep whilst they played on until lunchtime!

3pm Sunday and cards were in the air again, within a few minutes Paul Parker hit the rail and we were down to three tables. Johnny ‘Texas’ Hewston did in his stack with amazing speed and others who started the day with a lot less than his 100k plus also fell by the wayside in the next few levels to leave us with two tables of 18. It was my table that was broken, my new one consisted of from left to right, Trevor Reardon, Gareth ‘The Nugget’ Jones, Mickey McCloskey, Reyaaz Mulla, Nigel Turver, John Exley, Julian Adamson and Chris Johnson. For the next two levels I hovered between 27k and 45k after reaching a peak of 81k earlier in the day when my Aces held up against KQ on a Queen high flop. I had lost a few chips trying to knock Iwan Jones out with the best hand but was outdrawn and was finding my blind hard to defend against Dave McGeachie’s constant raising from the button. I got some back off him but lost some fighting back at the wrong time. Eventually the 18^th place finisher was eliminated and all agreed to take £1k off the top for the 17^th place finisher. This loosened proceedings up and the short stacks began to fall.

My card deadness was terminal, Eventually I found KQ in the cut off and shoved my last 24k in to find Mick McCloskey willing to call with AQ, very lose I thought but what the hell we had swapped percentages so it was going to a good cause! So 13^th place in my second UK event is not too bad and I made some new friends along the way. Credit to the Grosvenor Casino, they ran a fantastic event which was eventually won by John Exley although Reyaaz Mulla got the biggest payday in a deal. Mickey McCloskey played superb to finish third for the second time in the festival.

In the £100 Double chance on the Sunday night both Simon Kelly and Thomas Noland made the final table finishing 7^th an 8^th respectively and Leslie McLean and Dave Masters also went deep but missed out on cashes by a short margin.

Next year I will back for more and hopefully go on a place a bit higher.

Mike

Oh, I have a blog!

I thought it had been a while since I last wrote an entry into this here blog. I didn’t realise it had been a whole six weeks! God I am a lazy fecker….

Ok so a quick update on what’s been going on:

Firstly I have played a couple of live tournaments, sneaking into 18^th place in the Dublin cup where Dave and Tom came third and 12^th respectively, a good result for team Antes Up. Then there was the Irish Open, great event and weekend, bad tournament for me, running into bigger hands all over the shop. Luckily I got it back in the very soft but highly raked cash games,

Online continued where it left off after

Monaco

, I was unable to put in a losing session for almost 5 weeks, and then the wheels well and truly came off. A five buy in losing session crippled my profits for this month. I have still made a good profit but it hurts to see the figures drop so much in a short space of time.

I have not had time to fully digest the results; some of it was my own stupidity like playing heads up for high stakes where the variance is very high. I am actually breakeven I cash over this losing streak, it is tournaments that has been my downfall. I have had some brutal beats, three sets outdrawn by runner runner straights in high buy in tourneys, plus a whole manner of big pots where I was massive favourite then massive underdog in cash games.

The annoying thing is I had set myself a target bankroll and as soon as I hit it the beats started coming thick and fast. However I should have had the sense not to go chasing. Back to the drawing board. A new month starts afresh today.

I have spent a lot of time railing friends whilst plugging away at the cash games. Ken Powell must be the only player unluckier than me! The number of time I see him get to a final table and have an over pair cracked in a massive pot is unbelievable. Dave O’Callaghan keeps telling me he is fed up with poker and is going to take a break, the next day he always seems to have forgotten and goes and wins a huge wedge J

Dave Murray deserves a shout for an entertaining performance winning his WSOP seat. The 6 2 all in bluff was outstanding.

So what’s next? Well I am off to

Blackpool

for the festival with the Pokerevents team. Primarily to cover it for Antes Up but I might end up playing it as well, we will see how the poker fairies treat me this week!

My goals this month are not to lose any more $8.5k pots and to get back to target.

Adios Amigos, I will be back in less than six weeks. Be lucky but don’t steal mine…..

Irish Open Supporting event results

These are the official results for the Irish Open side events. They do not take into account the deals that wre done:

€150 Rebuy Tnt Monday 17th:
1. Tony Chessa (€28,750),
2. Torstein Iverson (€13,535),
3. C. Welsh (€6,290),
4. R.Matthews (€5,385),
5. J.Hewston (€4,615),
6. J.Falconer (€3,845),
7. B.Jackman (€3,075),
8. M.Herron (€2,305),
9. K.O'Connell (€1,540)

€300 Freezeout Tnt Sunday 16th:
1. John Larkin (€29,600),
2. I.Girdwood (€16,280),
3. Robert Davidson (€8,325),
4. Phil Baker (€6,475),
5. Raymond Masters (€5,550),
6. Bob Willis (€4,625),
7. John Delaney (€3,700),
8. Christy Smith (€2,775),
9. Michael Fortune (€1,850),
10. Adam Smith (€1,110)

€400 Rebuy Tnt Friday 14th:
1. Arshad Hussein (€44,710),
2. Henning Grandstad (€24,605),
3. Jahn Gough (€12,580),
4. Johnathon Wang (€9,785),
5. Graham Clarkson (€8,390),
6. Shahrack Nikkhah (€6,990),
7. Timi Gillig (€5,590),
8. Ian Frasier (€4,195),
9. Richard Snoddy (€2,795)

Dubliner Vincent Melinn wins Irish open

Dubliner wins €1 Million tournament live on TV

Paddypowerpoker.com Irish Open winner says ‘I did it for the title, not the money!’
Vincent Melinn won Ireland’s largest ever poker tournament last night in dramatic fashion. It was only the 54year-old accountant’s second live tournament. Melinn beat south Londoner Ian Woodley into second place.
Vincent backed himself with a €250 each way bet at 150-1 with Paddy Power picking up an extra €47,375 in winnings.
The final table of the tournament was broadcast around Europe on Sky Sports 2 from the Royal Dublin Society and has been hailed by many of Europe’s top poker players as the best TV poker event ever. Sky Sports 3 repeats the coverage at 7pmn on Wednesday April 18th.
Poker commentator (the voice of poker), Jesse May said of the event ‘It was just like Binion’s (Las Vegas) in the old days. The atmosphere and camaraderie was great.’

The prize pool was won by:

1 – Vincent Melinn €350,000
2 – Ian Woodley €182,000 (England)
3 -  Brendan Ruane €90,000 (Ireland)
4 – Jon Wong - €70,000 (England)
5 – Conor Whyte €60.000 (Ireland)
6 – Paul Daly €50,000 (Ireland)

Melinn said of his victory, ‘Its not about the money for me, its about the title. I‘ve only ever played one tournament before and went out in that in my first hand but I knew from the early stages of this game I had a chance and I’m really so proud to have my name on the trophy.’

The Irish Open is Europe’s oldest texas holdem tournament, celebrating its 25th year

Duiblin Poker Cup Results

Dublin Poker Cup Results
March 24th Citywest

1   Paul Hanlon  € 15000   
2   Ray Mc Kenna  € 15000   
3   Dave O Callaghan  € 7000   
4   Joe Meade € 5000   
5   Paul O Kelly € 4750   
6   Liam Corbett € 4500   
7   Derek Williams € 4250   
8   Maggie Zhang € 4000   
9   Andy Dunne € 3500   
10   Nicky O Donnell € 3000   
11   Paul Lenfestey € 3000   
12   Damian Kavanagh € 3000   
13   Tom Murphy IRE € 2500   
14   Stephen O Flanagan € 2000   
15   Sean Flynn € 1500   
16   Myles Garland € 1500   
17   John Maddock € 1000   
18   Mike Lacey € 1000   
19   Gerry Dolan € 500

Poker Million

In conjunction with Ladbrokes.com, the Merrion Casino Club are proud to announce Dublin’s only land-based satellite to the 2006 Poker Million...

Gaining entry into one of television’s most prestigious poker events is not easy but we are pleased to offer a rare entry opportunity – more sought after than a ticket to Charlie’s Chocolate Factory – for one lucky player.

Entry to the Poker Million costs $22,500 (aprox €18,700) but, considering the sponsor’s are adding $1 million to the prize-pool, the ticket has a real value in excess of $33,750 and their rarer than snowflakes in summer!

The Merrion Casino’s satellite – on Tuesday 18th April, immediately after our Irish Open Festival at Jurys Hotel – will cost €400 (+€40 registration) and offer an optional re-buy or top-up.

Rest assured we are expecting to give away a whole lot more that a single ticket and this should be a tournament with some tasty cash prizes for the final table finishers.

We look forward to seeing you and here’s hoping this will be your first step to the $1.2 million winner’s prize.

On the day the card room will be open at 2pm staging single-table satellites (at €50) and the tournament will begin 8pm.

The Poker Million Satellite winner must take his place in the Poker Million and their ticket is not transferable under any circumstances

It's a long way from Tipp to Monte Carlo

It’s been a while since I last posted and a lot of things have happened since I last hammered the keyboard with my typing finger.

Tipperary is foggy memory blurred by Guinness, Bulmer’s & Budweiser. The tournament was in Roscrea in aid of the local scout group and from what I remember a success for the cause. My own tournament was a rash of big pots won with the monsters of 8 2 & 3 4 plus a KK thrown in for good measure. My initial chips rose from 2500 to 25000 during the rebuy stage and up to 60000 soon after until I ran top pair into a set and that was that. Guts was the game that followed a series of sit and goes with the DIT lads and lassies before being turfed out the hotel at the ungodly hour of 11am and a horrendous train ride back home.

The night before Tipp I played the Fitzwilliam €270 game. 22nd and four from the money is all I need to say. I also played in the ‘Joe Show’. This was a televised double shootout and I managed to finish second at my first table, an hour long heads up match with Mark McGhee was fun but he won in the end.

Monte Carlo was my next stop on the Antes Up live update tour. The week flew by in a haze of €20 burgers (chips were extra). Actually I never ate one of the burgers after hearing about the rawness of them from others, what is it with the French and raw meat? The rich opulence of Monaco was not that appealing to me, give me the cheap tackiness of Vegas every time. Apart from a sit and go on the first night with the some of the other journalists I got no live poker played. I intended to play one of the side tournaments but too many late nights online hampered that plan.

It was very entertaining over there watching €20k sit and goes and Chinese poker being played for up to €4k a point. Some of the professional poker players are just sick:). Interestingly the €10k and €20k sit and goes were won by none other than Joe Hachem and Greg Raymer, as if they need the money….

My online cash game play is improving each day. My results whilst in Monaco were the best I have recorded so far and the online bankroll is getting to the point where $5/$10 is comfortably within bankroll requirements and $10/$20 is not crippling if I lose a buy in or two. This allows me to play a bit more relaxed at these levels and go with my instincts without fear of bankroll trouble if I am wrong. Poker Tracker support for Tribeca has finally arrived and I am getting the benefit of this now at those tables. I have also re-acquainted myself with Party Poker with great success. It seems a lot smoother than I remember but still just as fishy. I have not tried any tournaments there yet but my cash bankroll there is multiplying nicely.

If you ever get the chance to watch players playing online at the highest level then make sure you pay attention, there is a lot to be learnt. In Monte Carlo I had the opportunity to see a lot of this and it is no co-incidence that my own game has improved.

Lastly, I have been doing some phone in reports on the Irish poker scene for Poker News on Poker zone which can be seen on Sky Digital. This is great fun to do but I have yet to see it myself. If anyone has any good stories or news then drop me a line and I will give some airtime.

Au revoir & bon chance,

Mike

The Life Rake.

Talking to Marq O'Neill last night in the Fitz, Marq was decked out in the dealer uniform looking his usual hairy self. A lot of people would think "oops, Marq must have gone broke at the tables and is trying to get a bankroll together", I knew that wasn't it. I knew partly 'cos Marq is too good a player but then even the best can go broke, mostly I knew because when you turn pro or semi pro (as I'd class both of us) you discover a strange phenomenon I call "The Life Rake"

How many times have you heard someone say "I made as much playing poker last year as I did working. Next year I'm thinking of going pro!" Do me a favour, in fact do all of us a favour and *slap* the head off him. Most likely what he really means is "Last year if you add up all my big wins and ignore the small losing nights and all my ex's... I made a fair bit of cash". If physical violence towards your friends doesnt work for you, then ask him a few questions. Ask him if he had a good year last year. Invariably he will look at you, eyes wide, and say something "didn't you hear me? Dude I made about as much from playing as working! I had a great year. Next year I'm going pro!"

So he had a great year and only broke even. Broke even?? Yeah. Because of The Life Rake. See a funny thing happens when you go pro and no one expects it but we all should. You jack in the job, buy yourself a killer pair of Oakleys, and wait for the sponsorship offers to roll in. But all that arrives is the ESB bill. So you pay it. And the NTL bill. And the rent. But you doing well at the tables in your local club and you dip into your bourgeoning bankroll. You're up big this month and you can afford it. But then the lads are going to Cork to play the 500 freezeout or London to hit the Gutshot. So you go with them and get knocked out of the tournie by an A7 holding muppet. Time to hit the cash games and so you get your money back and maybe even cover some of your ex's.  You return home to find you're tired, sick of cards for a day or two and worse, you dropped a small bit  on the trip. Then comes The Life Rake and your bankroll is a bit raggy. How did that happen? Well, while you may have nearly broken even on the trip, you were away from your job for a week.

"Job? I jacked that in!"... No you switched jobs. Your job now is to crank out the hours at the card table. Or online. And you clock hours with an hourly expectation. And you took a holiday to have a crack at a big tournie.

The point here is expressed neatly when you asked your if he had a good year and he said he had a great year. He had a great year and only made the same as he currently makes. What happens when he only has a reasonable year? Or god help him, a bad one. Who pays the Life Rake then?

My advice to your friend is, stick with the day job and enjoy the fact that he now makes a bundle from his hobby!

Hectic

jeez the last month has been mad. The first big Green Joker Poker Freezeout which went better than expected and then a week in Deauville for the EPT. Sadly I was not able to win a seat and try and better my 12th place last year. i nearly got in at the last minute as someone offered to back me for €2000. Unfortunately this was late the night before the event and i was full of beer. The hangover in the morning woulf not have been the best for a €4k buy in event, although that didn't hinder James 'Royal Flush' Dempsey who played much better poker on day one when suffering than on Day two when fully recovered!

At both events I met many people who I had only known online before which was good fun. The only live poker I have played were two STT's on the last night in France. the line up included Julian Thew, bad girl, Flushie, Dpommo & Dubai Millennium. Oh and Tom. I won the second which was nice.

Online has been awful to say the least. I dug a hole for myself at the end of January, or at least the river did. In 30 mins I lost nearly $2k. Three 90-95% shots with the money going in on the turn and one ice cold deck was all it took.

In France I almost got it all back in an hour of drunken rampaging on the online tables. Any players with notes on me would have been astounded. On two 2/4 tables with a $300 max buy in I was upto over $1200 on each. At one point I raised ten hands in a row preflop with no action. Unfortunately two big pots where I flopped the almost nuts and my manic image got me all in gave over half of it back. The worst was when I had raised with A 4 and the flop came 2 3 5 my opponent set me in with 66 - call - river 4! $1k pot.

Since I have been back it has been more grinding up and down (ooh er missus). I have tried to mix things up and I am polaying more tournies again. The first positive result came tonight when I was 2nd in the bluesquare $3.5k gtd for $775 profit. This is a great little tournie with 20 mins blinds. 27 players paid $100+$9 so there was a little overlay too (ssh don't tell anyone).

I have also dabbled in some 5/10 limit with mixed results and I have tried the short buy in gamble method. So far I have bought in for $40 at $1/$2 tables 3 times. Once I got up to $440 and quit and the other two times I busted out.

This month looks like it could be more hectic and I need to get some games in for the Antes Up poker team as well as going to Monte Carlo and running more tournies. Time to breath in April I reckon.

See ya at the tables...

Mike